Typing while inebriated

MS is a strange disease. Though, to be honest, I would imagine any other neurological disorder would have just as many strange nuances. I’ll have to scour the internet for bloggers who suffer from ALS, Guillain-Barré syndrome, etc. and see whether their experiences mirror my own. For some reason, I find I have an easier time typing when I’m half-a-bottle in (plus at least 1 mixed drink, though I was left wondering how much actual liquor was in it. I may spill some due to my rampant ataxia, but I’m sure as shit I could pour a better drink than Mr. Bartender-who-made-my-Caesar. If I wanted Clamato on the rocks, I would have ordered it!).

Or is it just that I’m more forgiving of my repeated errors because, despite the fact that I’m always a shiny ball of happy, being a drunk, shiny ball of happy is… kind of self-explanatory, no? I think it’s more than just a question of patience, however. That ataxia being the problem that it is (if you didn’t click the above link to have it defined for you, it basically means that my brain kind of shits the bed on coordinating movement, a real piss-off when you’re trying to (a) pour a drink, (b) take a drink, (c) make a toast, (d) get your key in the slot to unlock your door, (e) tune to your preferred radio station on your brother’s car stereo that has unusually small buttons, just to kind of give you the finger ’cause there isn’t enough of that in your life already, (f) I can do this all day and night and still not be done, so, carrying on; I think that, in moderation, alcohol provides a nice balance to this lack of coordination, if not an overwhelmingly unhealthy one. I remember, prior to my dx (oh, the good ‘ol days!) when I first began displaying symptoms, there was always a ‘sweet-spot’ between sobriety and shit-house drunkenness  that I was just better at everything (with the exception, of course, of any social interaction involving people). The booze takes just enough out of me to turn not only my ability to type back ‘on’, but to do so without having to engage the inefficiency of doing it proprioceptively (this is a really fancy way of saying ‘looking at the keyboard while typing’ instead of looking at the monitor…).

While of all the things I’ve lost, I still hold fastidiously to standing to pee as the thing I miss the most. I honestly do think, though, that my 75-word-a-minute typing speed is second. Some priorities I’ve got, eh? Out of everything – walking, bearing hot & humid temperatures, having the normal endurance level of a 26-year-old male, I pick my ability to stand while urinating and how quickly I can turn a blank page/text-box/message box into something for someone else to read.

-A.D.

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2 thoughts on “Typing while inebriated

  1. Tonni DuMoulin says:

    I hope you are writing a book – you’re ability to express yourself is fantastic – and humorous!
    Are you blogging at:
    http://www.sharingmiracles.com/multiple-sclerosis/montel-williams-2/

    Also any word on getting the test – the european stuff – anything happening here yet?

  2. Stephanie says:

    There is definitely something to this. There is a sweet spot for pool and a good number of other activities that require coordination. That perfect level of blood to alcohol ratio is achieved, and everything is so much smoother and natural. I dont usually condone drinking and typing though as once the sweet spot is achieved and exceeded it can lead to drunk texting or emails, reminiscing and embarassing confessions.

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