Now I’ve gone and done it!

90% of the problems I have are MS-related. It really is a brutal disease. Brutal because it can take something critical to your independence away, such as continence, mobility, vision, coordination, dexterity, strength, etc. etc,(or in my case, all of the above including a couple of etcetera’s) and leave you otherwise with THE APPEARANCE of good health. Brutal because it is THE MOST COMMON neurological illness among young adults in Canada — the claws don’t really play favourites, and they willingly twist their seemingly razor-sharp talons into people from as many different races and ethnicities that you can think of (I know, I know; it’s certainly more prevalent in northern climes… I suppose the PQ government should really base their model for tolerance on what i once referred to as “the last bastion of equality” that I could find in this world–it doesn’t care if you wear a headscarf. Or if you’re the pastiest, white-boy in the world. If it wants you, the MonSter will get you.  It doesn’t give pause to weigh whether you’re a good person, which is…unfortunate. Cards I was dealt, blah blah blah, not going down that road, at least not in this post. This post is about what’s left of my face!

First, you need to understand that the wheelchair cushion i sit on is comprised of three parts – a foam cushion surrounded plastic viny, making it easily washable and adding some water resistance, , 2nd is the external cushion cover with Velcro tracks to hold everything in place, including me. Problem is, that 2nd cushion cover with those nice Velcro tracks CAN’T be made out of waterproof material due to risk of me sliding out of my chair. The 3rd and final piece is a solid plastic board, 26″x14″. After that a non-waterproof external cover is the first thing to get washed when my catheter does what it does when i leave it unattended, and don’t ensure my hose is clear, the condom securely glued on (yeah, male external catheterization ain’t fun.) So, my inattentiveness or whatever resulted in 1 – my catheter failing, 2 – my cushion cover needs to be washed. 3 – I’m left sitting on a plastic board and that vinyl covered i interior cushion. No cover or Velcro tracks to fasten everything down. 1 and 3 do not work without 2. But I don’t have the presence of mind to REMAIN AWARE that my cushion is lacking its only safety feature–those Velcro straps. Otherwise, I’m sitting on Jenga blocks that the Claw i mentioned earlier is at times playing with to throw me for a lark. Sadistic claw-wielding son-of-a… Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And so i was doing something innocent and benign as ever, i reached down to pick up an envelope, the shift in my weight caused 1 to slide on 3, i fell forward, and unharnessed and not providing any lateral bracing on my arms on impact with the floor. Q is still haunted by the sound of my nasal cartilage being crushed. He called it a probable break and because I’m thrombocytopenic right now, , i was bleeding something fierce. I did what i had to, called 911. Q was here with me through every bloody moment. And then the party started!

Out the elevator walk the two smoking hottest ambulance techs in the city. Q and repeatedly turned to each other in an incredulous stupor and asked each other “what is going on?” or “is this really happening??” And since they were the first responders, they stayed with me until i was comfortably waiting to see a doc at the Vic… The brief time, I was able to enjoy their company, they demonstrated a kind of caring that is lost on many nowadays. They said to me – I’m still a person…

Anyway, Doc says maybe just a sprain (and 2 stitches), but I need to see an ENT Specialist, likely in a couple of weeks… and the cycle continues. Incontinence brought on by MS, lack of balance, strength and coordination brought on by MS. My limited mobility and requirement for a wheelchair – brought on by MS. Cuts deep; young guy, had a fantastic job, was ready to make a life for myself. Instead, life decided to make most of the major decisions for me…

A blog post about self-worth and all that fun stuff i s impending. I think I’ve finally gone and damaged this beautiful face ‘o mine…

Stay on your feet!

-A.D.

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7 thoughts on “Now I’ve gone and done it!

  1. C.Alice says:

    So greatly written.. Thank you for that.
    As for me, I fell down the stairs from a wonderful MS surge of trigeminal neuralgia and broke my nose in 3 places a year ago in the first house I bought by myself two weeks before I discovered my problem was MS. (An interesting sequence of events I think.). An ambulance, a flurry of amazing nurses, 3 doctors, this stubborn gal with MS and 7k later, I think I look better than ever :).
    Because I chose not to look like a hockey player, it was considered ‘non re-constructive cosmetic improvement’, hence the 7k, lol. Glad I had that aside for a rainy day lol.. Now I buy nice scarves and hats to hide the other scars and thinning hair from meds, I like to think I’m stylish this way 😉
    On a serious note, I am so sorry for what you went through and are going through still. I hope that you aren’t scarred at all, but if even a little, that it makes you feel even better looking than before and so very proud of who you are and all that you accomplish daily.
    You deserve to feel amazing in every way, every day.
    C.

  2. Gilda says:

    You are so strong. You inspire all of us.

  3. Elsa says:

    Beautiful face, for sure!

  4. Julia says:

    A beautiful mind is worth far more than a beautiful face!! And you’ve still got both!! xo

  5. Margie says:

    Andrew, you tell a tale with such clarity that one lives through the situation with you. I love your face and all that you are – in and out – you make me proud.

  6. Gina says:

    MS is a bitch!
    You and your writing Rock!!
    Beauty is the light behind your eyes..

    Miss you.
    sending you strength and hugs ,

    Gina

  7. Sususy says:

    Hey Andrew Hope you are back up and healing Not fair when life hands us this shite 😦 Thinking of you. Ruth-Ann and Dan

    ________________________________

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